Why “It’s just the way I am,” Stinks as an Excuse

“Welp. That’s just the way I am.”

That’s the reasoning you may get when someone hurts, offends, falls short of expectations, etc. You’re left feeling angry, disappointed, frustrated, hurt or having to clean up a mess.

Here’s why it’s a loser excuse.

If a guy was aware he regularly had gas that cleared the room or a woman knew her breath often caused people to flinch, what are they chances a normal person would do nothing about it?

I’m thinking, zero. The normal person would do something to remedy the stench.

Yet it’s not uncommon to hear the aggressively blunt person say, “Sorry. That’s just the way I am.” Expecting people around him to accept the nastiness and get over it. And, by the way, that fibber isn’t ‘sorry’ in the least. It’s an empty word in a lame proclamation.

Or he or she may defend an obnoxious personality trait with a shrug and an, “Oh well. Nobody’s perfect.”

Yeah, we’re not looking for perfect here. There’s a chasm between perfect and annoying, offensive, unkind or seriously sub-par. (see photo) In that chasm is plenty of space to do things slightly differently, a tad more considerately, with a little more effort toward quality or choosing more collaboration than confrontation.

Hopefully you don’t work with bullies, liars, snobs, slackers, weasels, loudmouths and whiners. But sadly, I hear enough horror stories to know it’s likely that you do. What these folks lack is Emotional Intelligence.

Here’s your opportunity to change things for the better.

We can’t change what we aren’t aware of. If someone like this reports to you, have a conversation about the importance of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). EQ can be improved and you’ll be doing a good deed by letting her know how she’s perceived so she can fix the figurative stench.

If you stink at those conversations, your EQ could probably use some improvement, too. It’s OK. I’m here for you. Literally. I coach people on this.

If, on the other hand, the Loser Excuse Utterer sounds like someone you report to and you’d prefer a hot poker in your eye over bringing it up to her, reach out to me and I’ll help you figure out a way to share the ideas without putting your job in jeopardy.

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